Gumtetticatsat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental wolf.

Gumtetticatsat created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumtetticatsat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumtetticatsat, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gumtetticatsat's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gumtetticatsat's Holy Commandments

1. Gumtetticatsat loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Gumtetticatsat on top of all buildings.

3. Gumtetticatsat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing fawn coats.

5. You must pray to Gumtetticatsat six times a day.