Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, merciful scorpion.

Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always obey Timdodxuckwittonkdinflambell's priests.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.