Batcedart is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent yak.

Batcedart created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batcedart, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Batcedart, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Batcedart's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Batcedart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Hide from magenta ducks for they are unholy.