Bassjamkam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, grumpy coyote.

Bassjamkam created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bassjamkam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bassjamkam, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bassjamkam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bassjamkam's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear yellow tights.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.