Vabgudtif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, generous hummingbird.

Vabgudtif created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabgudtif, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vabgudtif, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vabgudtif's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vabgudtif's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four shrews approach from the east.

2. Never feed beans to great tits while wearing magenta boots.

3. Never sing in the presence of manatees.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Run away from mauve sheep, for they are unholy.