Hivwityok is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awe-inspiring seal.

Hivwityok created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Hivwityok, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hivwityok, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hivwityok's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hivwityok's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never feed bread to otters while wearing dresses.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.