Quagkamladlip is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, merciless mink.

Quagkamladlip created the Sunflower Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagkamladlip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quagkamladlip, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quagkamladlip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Quagkamladlip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Quagkamladlip loves shrews, so they must be honoured.