Bassfadcit Sasstermet is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, annoying salamander.

Bassfadcit Sasstermet created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfadcit Sasstermet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassfadcit Sasstermet, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bassfadcit Sasstermet's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bassfadcit Sasstermet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never paint your back cyan.

4. Never feed lots of bread to geese while wearing yellow shirts.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Bassfadcit Sasstermet in the centre of the settlement.