Nutcamvil Mifgepflow is a god.

It takes the form of a small, generous clam.

Nutcamvil Mifgepflow created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutcamvil Mifgepflow, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nutcamvil Mifgepflow, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nutcamvil Mifgepflow's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nutcamvil Mifgepflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Put Nutcamvil Mifgepflow first in all things.