Fotboncem is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, emotional human.

Fotboncem created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotboncem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fotboncem, it will try to impress you with trees.

Fotboncem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fotboncem's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away if nine sharks approach from the north.

4. Put Fotboncem first in all things.

5. Never talk about special relativity near whales while wearing turquoise hats.