Xem is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking pig.

Xem created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xem, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xem, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Xem's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Xem's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing corsets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Always pray immersed in water.