Omtpangtom is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, capable whale.

Omtpangtom created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtpangtom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtpangtom, it will jump up and down on your head.

Omtpangtom's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Omtpangtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Erect six gold sculptures of Omtpangtom on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed nuts to goats while wearing hats.

4. Never think about spacetime near voles while wearing red shirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your neck.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.