Gedshavon is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, quiet chinchilla.

Gedshavon created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedshavon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gedshavon, he will torture you forever.

Gedshavon's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gedshavon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gedshavon.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Never look at stars.