Cutarpjop is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical squirrel.

Cutarpjop created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Cutarpjop, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cutarpjop, she will strike you with lightening.

Cutarpjop's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cutarpjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to porpoises while wearing jumpers.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

3. Cutarpjop loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.