Guppagdub is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome lobster.

Guppagdub created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guppagdub, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Guppagdub, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Guppagdub's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Guppagdub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about gravity near porpoises while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine silver spheres on your neck.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing cyan ear rings.