Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, charitable wyvern.

Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fetwanstercumomtyam Bimkarmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured seals.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.