Best is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless wyrm.

Best created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Best, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Best, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Best's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Best's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Fast once a month.