Gambatjinnatxucmegcab is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, passionate dryad.

Gambatjinnatxucmegcab created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gambatjinnatxucmegcab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gambatjinnatxucmegcab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gambatjinnatxucmegcab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Gambatjinnatxucmegcab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear mauve jumpers.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.