Lopdimbig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, kind cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lopdimbig created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopdimbig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lopdimbig, it will turn you into a dog.

Lopdimbig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Lopdimbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink shorts.

2. Lopdimbig loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing blue skirts.