Gutvadloop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fast whale.

Gutvadloop created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutvadloop, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gutvadloop, he will turn you into a rat.

Gutvadloop's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gutvadloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about planets.