Xucnel is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, capable faun.

Xucnel created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucnel, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xucnel, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xucnel's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Xucnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.