Sterruttbap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody deer.

Sterruttbap created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterruttbap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sterruttbap, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sterruttbap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sterruttbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Sterruttbap on top of important buildings.

4. Sterruttbap loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat bark.