Lakbeglig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, astonishing bat.

Lakbeglig created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbeglig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lakbeglig, it will turn you into a rat.

Lakbeglig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Lakbeglig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not hurt dogs.

3. Respect your elders.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Never look in ponds.