Vagkabstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, happy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vagkabstaf created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagkabstaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vagkabstaf, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vagkabstaf's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vagkabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vagkabstaf's priests.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help voles.

5. Hide if seven nematodes approach from the south.