Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited lobster.

Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon's Holy Commandments

1. Sugxuckwotstikcatyarcedfon loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.