Metwotcet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, bad-tempered wombat.

Metwotcet created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metwotcet, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Metwotcet, he will torture you forever.

Metwotcet's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Metwotcet's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four tapirs approach from the east.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Metwotcet loves cats, so they must be respected.

5. Do not hurt voles.