Lapflaglad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, prudent bear.

Lapflaglad created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapflaglad, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lapflaglad, she will torture you forever.

Lapflaglad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Lapflaglad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Worship no other gods but Lapflaglad.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Always help sick sharks.