Fossbellbapingfigtail is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, overgenerous wasp.

Fossbellbapingfigtail created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossbellbapingfigtail, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fossbellbapingfigtail, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fossbellbapingfigtail's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Fossbellbapingfigtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. You must pray to Fossbellbapingfigtail eight times a day.

3. Fossbellbapingfigtail loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always look after injured sharks.