Arpgadhug is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, passionate cow.

Arpgadhug created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpgadhug, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arpgadhug, he will ignore you.

Arpgadhug's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Arpgadhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Arpgadhug in the centre of the settlement.

3. Put Arpgadhug first in all things.

4. Worship no other gods but Arpgadhug.

5. Respect your elders.