Benbagfen Sugsawtab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome otter.

Benbagfen Sugsawtab created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Benbagfen Sugsawtab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Benbagfen Sugsawtab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Benbagfen Sugsawtab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Benbagfen Sugsawtab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never paint your legs purple.

5. Never talk about planets.