Stanflatyok is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable snail.

Stanflatyok created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanflatyok, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stanflatyok, he will turn you into a rat.

Stanflatyok's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Stanflatyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Stanflatyok.

4. Never think ill of sick shrews.

5. Run away from turquoise sheep, for they are unholy.