Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, merciful tapir.

Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven aardvarks in a large pit.

2. Bomarpnutt Veenvabtin Milbodnur loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed beans to horses while wearing magenta stockings.

4. Always treat cats with great respect.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.