Pigmetbap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective dolphin.

Pigmetbap created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigmetbap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pigmetbap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pigmetbap's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pigmetbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Pigmetbap loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not commit murder.