Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tranquil crane.

Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Quattarpminbegstipwod Litshavil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.