Kimhamteen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, caring coyote.

Kimhamteen created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Kimhamteen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimhamteen, it will make you grow a tail.

Kimhamteen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kimhamteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near sharks while wearing white boots and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always wear black.