Wotsatnull is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful pig.

Wotsatnull created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotsatnull, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wotsatnull, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wotsatnull's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Wotsatnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near moths while wearing pink kilts and balancing five silicon spheres on your head.