Lidziggom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fast duck.

Lidziggom created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lidziggom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lidziggom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lidziggom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lidziggom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never paint your arms brown.

3. Do not kill doves.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.