Davpantetti is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic goat.

Davpantetti created energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Davpantetti, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Davpantetti, it will make you grow a tail.

Davpantetti's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Davpantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Davpantetti.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.