Dumkembonk is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, contented alligator.

Dumkembonk created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumkembonk, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dumkembonk, it will strike you with lightening.

Dumkembonk's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Dumkembonk's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.