Laktettiarf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable bird.

Laktettiarf created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Laktettiarf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Laktettiarf, he will have a low opinion of you.

Laktettiarf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Laktettiarf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.