Ditgubzen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy gerbil.

Ditgubzen created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditgubzen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ditgubzen, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ditgubzen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ditgubzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not kill moths.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Ditgubzen must be the most important thing in your life.