Quagsitman is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, flying fox.

Quagsitman created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagsitman, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quagsitman, he will send you a sign.

Quagsitman's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quagsitman's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never wear pink shorts.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Run away if three gulls approach from the south.

5. Never talk about dark matter.