Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, proud penguin.

Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Hivbugzengighim Quafnurfeb loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Always take life seriously.