Yatnanfagdumhun is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, able walrus.

Yatnanfagdumhun created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatnanfagdumhun, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yatnanfagdumhun, she will come to you in dreams.

Yatnanfagdumhun's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Yatnanfagdumhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Yatnanfagdumhun loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed lots of peanuts to dolphins while wearing mauve shorts.

5. Always help monkeys.