Janbogbom Bimdutcid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing fairy.

Janbogbom Bimdutcid created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Janbogbom Bimdutcid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Janbogbom Bimdutcid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Janbogbom Bimdutcid's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Janbogbom Bimdutcid's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Put Janbogbom Bimdutcid first in all things.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.