Nulbessfot is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, egotistical tapir.

Nulbessfot created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbessfot, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nulbessfot, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nulbessfot's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Nulbessfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face fawn.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the east.

4. Never mention otters.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Nulbessfot on top of all buildings.