Nurtjarnnat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, astonishing gerbil.

Nurtjarnnat created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtjarnnat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurtjarnnat, it will turn you into a frog.

Nurtjarnnat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Nurtjarnnat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry nematodes.

2. Always help squirrels in need.

3. Always obey Nurtjarnnat's priests.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never pour water over plants.