Dapmotrak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate gorilla.

Dapmotrak created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapmotrak, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dapmotrak, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dapmotrak's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Dapmotrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Dapmotrak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Respect your elders.