Bagraplip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent tortoise.

Bagraplip created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagraplip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bagraplip, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bagraplip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bagraplip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.