Pontettisig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental hyena.

Pontettisig created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pontettisig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pontettisig, it will curse you with boils.

Pontettisig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Pontettisig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near tortoises while wearing purple coats and balancing four platinum spheres on your face.

2. Do not kill seals.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.